5 Ways to Survive Transition

Transition is hard! Change is hard. It’s not impossible, but it is hard. My family just moved to a new home about 5 miles out of town. As I’m coming back to my roots and making adjustments to how I’ve been living for the last 10+ years (the grocery store is no longer 5 blocks away, turns out I had become a bit accustomed to that), I’m having to work hard to stay grounded and continue my practices of self-care.  It’s been beautiful, but it is a challenge. Deciding where to keep the plates, which drawer the silverware should go in, and deciding where the linen cupboard should be are just some of the struggles that come with moving into a new place. It’s a transition, and the transition is never easy, but it is so worth it. Sitting on my back porch with my dog, the cats that came with the place, and watching the sunrise as I write this make it oh so worth the challenges.

 

With this transition in my personal life, also comes a transition in...

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"I'm Broken"

She said to me, “I’m broken.”

“I was abused, I’m broken. “

“I was cheated on, I’m broken. “

“I have a diagnosis, I’m broken.”

“I cannot keep a man, I’m broken. “

“I got fired, I’m broken. “

“I lost someone I love, I’m broken. “

 

I stared into her eyes and said, “You, my dear are not broken. Something broke your heart, but it did not break you.” 

 

Every time we experience pain, discomfort, heartache, we are given a choice. Allow this to define our lives and be the story of brokenness we tell, the excuse for nothing going right in our lives… OR… we let this pain be a driving force to become better. 

 

Your past doesn’t have to define you, it can empower you. 

 

To the one who was abused, you now know to never give your power away. 

To the one who was cheated on, you now know how to find...

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What's In Your Cup?

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”? If you read my post Self-Care isn't Selfish you know exactly what I’m talking about. So often our cups are empty because of the lives we lead. We are overwhelmed with the busyness of life and we have allowed society to tell us what is important, and in most cases taking care of ourselves is not at the top of that list. We have allowed our schedules to get so full that there is no room for us anymore. We have nothing left to give. That is when your cup is empty. When you feel like there is just nothing left of you or just not enough of you. If you’ve ever thought or uttered the words, “I’m just one person, I can’t do it all,” then you know exactly what I mean. 

 

Routine self-care usually keeps us out of that feeling. It keeps us from getting to a place of burnout, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. But what happens if we allow ourselves to keep...

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Say NO

I remember early in my nursing career when I was eager to work. I wanted to learn everything I could. I wanted to be helpful. I wanted the overtime in my paycheck. I said yes, every time they called. I said yes every time there were open shifts. I said yes to the 3 am to 3 pm shifts. I said yes to the 8 shifts in a row. I said yes to the “I’ll go home and sleep for 4 hours and come back for 8 more. I said yes to everything. Until one day my parents were up visiting from their home 7 hours away. I got that same ol’ call to come to work in an hour and I said, “NO. My parents are visiting and I don’t want to miss a minute with them.” The response from my co-worker went something like this, “...but we haven’t even tried to call anyone else because we KNEW you’d say yes.” 

 

That did it for me. That was the moment I realized that I was being taken advantage of. My time with my family was not a priority for them, it did...

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Keep Doing What You've Always Done

You know that saying, “if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got”? Have you ever thought about the habits you’ve created in your life? The ones that maybe don’t serve you so well, but you do it anyway, simply because you always have. Why is that a thing? 

 

We are so quick to write off our poor decisions because “that’s just who I am” or “this is just what my family does.” Think about the things in your life that are like that. How often do you use your upbringing, your past, or those bad habits as an excuse for not improving your life? How often do you write off a decision as something you choose because of something that happened to you before? 

 

Here’s an unpopular opinion: You get to decide what choices you make in your life. 

 

This isn’t a conversation about privilege. This isn’t a conversation about manifesting...

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Self-Care at Home

Self-care is kind of a buzzword these days.  Everyone's talking about it, but that doesn't make it any easier to partake in.  Especially if you've been lead to believe that self-care is girls' getaways and expensive spa days.  

 
Self-care is so much more than that. It's not about how much money you spend, or getting pampered for a full day. And really, those activities are not necessarily sustainable in your day-to-day life. We know I'm a proponent of routine maintenance instead of crisis management. So if a spa day isn't something you can work into your time budget or financial budget once a week, then it's probably not going to keep you out of a crisis. Self-care is less about grandiose activities and more about honoring the needs of your body,  mind, and soul.  It's about doing the things that fill your cup while you're also doing the things life asks of you.  I'm not discouraging a spa day or a girls' trip,  there's value in those...
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Surround Yourself with People

It has been said that you become the average of the people you surround yourself with. That you should always try to be around people who are the type of people you want to be. There is conflicting research to this point,  but I like the sentiment. The idea that we are influenced by what and who we are exposed to makes perfect sense to me. We’ve talked about how the media you consume changes your vibration. We’ve talked about how some people just suck the life out of you. So it would make sense that the people you spend your time around will affect how you show up in the world. 

 

Take a quick inventory of your friends. Who in your life pushes you to do better? Who teaches you things? Who challenges your ideas or holds you accountable for your actions? Anyone? Maybe you’re the person who holds others accountable in your life and challenges them to be better and do better. If that is a one-sided street, then you are likely not reaching your full...

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Balance is a Unicorn

Balance is a unicorn. 

 

It’s that thing everyone is chasing. A balance between work and family. A balance between work and resting. Balance in your marriage. In your friendships. Balance in all your relationships.

Here’s the thing… Balance is a unicorn. 

 

Maybe it exists in the world, but it feels more like a mythical creature. 

 

What it comes down to is how you honor your priorities. 

 

If I say that my #1 priority is supper with my family every night, I will leave work to make supper every night. 

 

If I want balance between work and rest, then I have to create time for both. I can always see another thing that needs to be done. Another task that needs to be finished. So, I will work myself to the bone, and wait longingly for the day that comes where there is time for rest. Wait longingly for that day to come where everything falls into place and it’s perfectly balanced. But it’s unrealistic to...

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What Defines You?

What defines you? Is it your hair color? “I’m blonde so I must be ditzy” “I’m a redhead so I am short tempered.” Is it your gender? “I’m female so I’m supposed to enjoy cooking.” “I’m male so I must know a lot about vehicles.” Is it your education? “I have a PHD so I know everything.” “I dropped out of high school, so I know nothing and cannot be successful.” …. These all sound crazy don’t they.

 

Try these one on for size:

“I don’t have a partner so I am not loveable.”

“I have a chronic illness, so I cannot be happy.”

“I was abused, so I cannot have a healthy relationship.”

 

Are any of those true? Or just as crazy as saying your hair color determines your attitude?

 

You are not defined by the way you look.

You are not defined by the things that happen to you.

Yes, there are defining moments in your life. The...

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Slow and Steady

Do you remember the old story of the tortoise and the hare? They are racing towards the finish line and the hare is so sure he will win that he got distracted and decided to take a nap. Not because he was tired. Not because it was his normal time of day to rest, but because he was being arrogant. The tortoise, on the other hand, continues slow and steady until he wins the race. He does not rest, but he does not hurry through either. 

 

What lessons we have to learn from these two!? 

 

The hare hurries in the beginning, becomes sure he will win, so he rests and misses his opportunity to cross the finish line first. How many times have you done this with your own goals? Maybe you decide you’re going to “get in shape” so you start by running a mile on day one, even though you haven’t run a mile in years. On day two you’re so sore that you need to rest. Day three hurts worse than day two, so you rest a little longer. By day four your...

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